Cronofimia
by Karaoke-Kitten
Summary: Rose and Christian get the dreaded Cronofimia! Random outburts and sickness awaits them, uder the care of Dimitri and Lissa.
1. Diagnosed

**I frikkin hate karma. I took my temp and I have a 101 fever. So now I am sitting on my bed with a Gatorade, tick tacks, and my laptop. Have fun.**

**If you read the Cronofimia AN in one of my other stories you know this disease. If not:**

**Disease: **Cronofimia

**Symptoms: **Headaches, Fatigue, Fever, Hallucinations, Sudden Thirst, Random Pains, Random Outbursts

**Other Notes: **Lasts anywhere from 24 hours to 2 weeks.

**So here we go. **

**Disclaimer will be done by Christian, because I feel sorry for him and Rose for getting sick.**

**Christian: Cam owns nothing.**

**Me: Not true! I own my clothes, my posters, and My Dreamland.**

**Iambi: It's true. She wrote our story, she keeps our deed.**

**Dri: So… If I wanted to be paired with someone else….**

**Rec: WHAT?**

**Dri: I'm just kidding. But seriously can I change one thing?**

**Me: later. Right now I have a Vampire Academy story to write.**

**Dri: SORRY! *goes back to emo corner***

**Me: *rolls eyes* Anyway…**

**RPOV**

I felt like crap. My head hurt and I was tired. I walked to practice gripping my skull.

"Your late Ro- Are you okay?" He changed his tone as soon as he saw mean. Guess I looked bad to.

"No."

"Let's get you to the clinic."

**CPOV**

My head was spinning and I was tired. I knew I needed to get to the clinic, so I slowly stood and made my way across campus.

**Neutral POV**

Rose and Christian had both been checked out and diagnosed with Cronofimia. Dimitri and Lissa were to keep them together, because it would be easier to care for them in one room. Rose and Christian could not leave the room they were put in. Dimitri decided to give them a choice: They could stay in a hospital room or an empty dorm. They chose the empty dorm that the school had that was unoccupied. Now they are lying on beds on either side of the room, only a few feet away from each other. Dimitri left for a shift and Lissa left for class, both promising to be back.

**CPOV**

Dr. O had said the Cronofimia wouldn't hit full force for a while, so I just felt like crap. I could still talk and wasn't seeing things or trying to pass out.

"So…" I dragged out the word. "Truth or truth?"

"Truth or truth?"

"Well we can't do dares can we?"

"So what, like… Twenty Questions?"

"Yeah!"

"Okay. You brought it up. You first."

"Um… how man boyfriends have you had in the past?"

"How many have you had?"

"Ha ha, very funny. Now answer the question." I reached over to the nightstand and grabbed the Gatorade.

"I actually don't know. Not as many as people think. Maybe… 6?"

"Your turn." I said absentmindedly.

"Have you ever been skinny dipping?"

"…"

"Come on, we're friends. I won't tell Lissa."

"… Maybe …."

"_Christian!_ You don't have anything to worry about. I've been skinny dipping. Have you?"

"Yes."

"See? Was that so hard?" She smirked. "Your turn fire ant."

"That's a new one." I remarked.

"Yeah, I'm feelin creative. Your turn."

"When do you think someone will show up with food?" I was just trying to tick her off now.

"Christian! _Your turn!"_

"Smooth your petals, Rose. What's the most embarrassing thing you've ever done?"

"Me and Liss went to the mall and I fell on some girl and my lips hit hers, so it looked like I jumped her."

"Your turn." And on it went for hours until finally the door opened.

"About time. I'm starving." Dimitri laughed and handed Rose and me little take out style boxes of food.

**DPOV**

The doctor said Rose and Christian would get worse in their sleep, and would begin to yell out random things. Needless to say I was panicking. She could blurt out things that make no sense, or stuff about us.

So as she fell asleep, and me and the princess stayed to watch and listen, I couldn't help but think it.

What will we hear?

**What will they hear? REVIEW!**


	2. Random Outbursts

**LPOV**

I sat with Guardian Belikov to watch Rose and Christian. Suddenly the outbursts started.

"But I won the penguin limbo contest!" Rose yelled. I placed my hand over my mouth to keep from laughing.

"The monkeys are attacking!" Christian yelled.

"Save the peanut butter!"

"Big mushrooms!"

"Chocolate sandwich!"

"I have new socks!"

Back and forth for hours and hours.

"Adrian!" Rose yelled. I looked up quickly. What was that about? I waited for her next outburst. "Canes are for old people!" I sighed and relaxed. Nothing was making sense.

-The next morning-

Rose and Christian woke up at around the same time. Then the confusing conversation started.

**CPOV**

I woke up to see Lissa and Dimitri staring at me. Why? Did I miss something? I thought back to my dream about monkeys attacking. Did that really happen?

"Oh my god how many Mori did the monkeys take!" I yelled. Liss looked like she was trying not to laugh. What was funny about man eating Strigoi monkeys?

"Did they take the chocolate sandwich?" Rose asked me. At least someone took me seriously.

"I don't know! Did they take my giant mushroom?" I asked, panicking.

"Maybe they took the kids and old people crossover invention thingy. It's a cane for old people, but it tastes like candy!"

I gasped. "WHERE? I want one!"

"I think the evil chickens stole it. But they denied everything!"

"So call the flying pig!"

"But she's so expensive!"

"Maybe you can sell penguins!"

"But how do the penguins survive without socks?"

"I can get them socks like mine!"

"AW! Look at you all huggily."

"Wait! Have you seen a giant crab?"

"No…" Lissa said, confused.

"Good. They aren't invading yet."

"I hate crabs." Rose said.

"Rose!" I yelled. "Crabs are people too!"

"So are enchiladas but you hate them!"

"True."

**LPOV**

What?

**DPOV  
**Anyone else confused?

**RPOV**

I haven't seen the chocolate sandwich in hours.

**CPOV**

Where did my new socks go?

**So what you think? **

**If you have seen Rose's sandwich or Christian's socks please review and tell me where they are. Together we can stop the evil monkey invasion.**


	3. Guess what?

**-The next day-**

**CPOV**

I opened my eyes, only to shut them quickly again. "UGH! Turn off the light!"

"That's sunlight." Lissa said.

"I don't care what kind of bulb it is! TURN IT OFF!"

"NO NEED TO BE RUDE CHRISTIAN! GEEZ!" Rose yelled. I finally opened my eyes.

-An hour later-

"ZOMG!" Rose yelled. "GUESS WHAT!"

"What?" I asked around a mouthful of waffle.

"DON'T TALK WITH YOUR MOUTH FULL CHRISTIAN!"

-3 hours later-

"ZOMG!" Rose yelled. "GUESS WHAT!"

"What?" Lissa asked.

"WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME!"

Belikov facepalmed.

-2 hours later-

"ZOMG GUESS WHA- AHH!" Rose ducked, just missing whatever it was I threw at her. She picked it up. "A tic-tac box?"

"THEY HURT ON CONTACT!" I defended myself.

"Really?"

"YEAH!"

"Let's test it!"

"OKAY! Wait, what do you mean- ROSE PUT THE BOX DOWN! AHH!"

-9:00 pm-

"Beddy bye!" Rose sang.

"NOOOOOO!" I yelled.

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES!

"NO!

"NO!"

"THANK YOU!"

"##*!"

"LA GASP! BAD ROSIE!"

"….Rosie?"

"Yes."

_BAM!_

"OW!"

"Hey! They do hurt!"

**FIN.**

**And that, my friends, is a promise that I will UD faster from now on. In the meantime, if you play Kingdom Hearts, (Birth by Sleep is TOTALLY WICKED BTW) check out YaoiFangirlOnTheLoose. That my BFFAEADCWAATAJ Sarah.**

**BFFAEADCWAATAJ: Best Friend Forever Even After Death Cuz We Are Awesome Tacos And Junk.**


	4. REVENGE

**Oh my lordy…..I have not been paying attention to this story at all…..**

**But I'm BACK BABY!**

**:D**

**You love me.**

-LINE GOES RAWR-

Rose sat up in bed, clutching her skull. "Ow…." She moaned. She removed one hand in favor of setting it down next to her, but felt something hard beneath it.

What the….?

A _tic tac_ _box?_

She picked it up and chucked it across the room.

"OW! That hurts! Watch where you throw stuff, Rosie." Rose glared at Christian, who glared right back. The glare match lasted about fifteen minutes until the door opened.

"Hey guys! I see you're up! Good morning! I brought breakfast!"

Christian and Rose instantly switched their glare to Lissa, but that ended when they saw her tray.

"DONUTS!" Rose exclaimed. She ran up to Lissa and gave her a huge hug. "I love you, Liss!"

"Um…Love…you….too?"

"But- Lissa! I thought you loved _me_?"

"I do. But I love you two differently." Lissa defended, confused.

"She loves me more." Rose stated, and Christian stuck his tongue out in response.

"No she doesn't!"

"YES SHE DOES!"

"NO SHE DOESN'T!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES!

"NO!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"THANK YOU!"

"DANGIT!"

"I pwn, dear Chrissie."

"….Chrissie?"

"Yes."

_BAM!_

"OW!"

"REVENGE! BWAHAHA!"

**-LINEY-**

**Alright so I stole the ending from the last chapter and it was short. BUT it's an update! Im trying~~**

**Wah!**

**This is difficult to write! I've lost my ability to write things that are pointless! Any ideas?**

**In the meantime, ILY! :heart:**


	5. AN sorry

**OMG…**

**Long hiatus much?**

**Alright…I will be deleting this author's note as soon as the next chapter is written but I wanted to get a note out to my followers and favorite-ers. **_**(I love you guys, by the way!)**_

**Anyway, I need to ask you guys to go to my profile and vote on the poll as to whether I should write, re-write, or continue stories. **

**LOVES FOR EVERYONE!  
CAM**


	6. Emo Ghetto Penguins

**BACK AT LAST.**

**This was so hard to do. **

**The entire time I was like "This is so **_**stupid…."**_

**Dimitri POV~**

I watched as Rose slowly blinked her eyes open. There was a long pause as I waited for her to scream out her next random statement, but none came.

"Rose?"

Rose turned wide eyes on me.

"….Who are you?"

My eyes widened. _Well,_ I thought, _it's not the most surprising thing that's happened…._

"I'm-"

I was cut off by Christian, who sprung up as though he had been electrocuted.

"YOU'RE OUR FATHER! NOOOOO!" He proceeded to flail randomly. I vaguely wondered what he thought was worse: That I was his "father" or that it would make him related to Rose.

"No…I'm not."

He stopped instantly, turning to me with large, confused eyes, clearly lost.

There was a pause, and then…

"….YOU'RE OUR _MOTHER!_ NOOOOO!"

I face-palmed.

**Rose's POV**

This guy was _weird._

Who just goes around hitting themselves in the face?

No one just randomly hurts themselves…

….unless…

"LE GASP! You're EMO! _Noooo!_ DON BES EMO!"

He hit himself again.

"BALD MAN." I yelled, pointing at him.

Christian turned to me. "Bald man?"

"I meant _bad!_ It was a typo!"

"How do you have typos when you're talking?"

"I don't know! What was I supposed to call it? A _speecho_?"

"That sounds an awful lot like _Speedo."_

"You would know."

"…_Huh?"_

"Your _face _is _'huh.'_"

"That doesn't make any sense."

"Neither does your _mom."_

Christian hit himself like the Bad Man did earlier.

"No! CHRISSIE-POO NO BE EMO!"

He did it again.

"You people are all gonna get bruises and die."

"How do you die from a bruise?"

"It's bleeding under your skin."

"No-uh!"

"Yeah-huh!"

"No-uh!"

"Yeah-huh!"

"No-uh!"

"Yeah-huh!"

"No-uh!"

"Yeah-huh!"

"No-uh!"

"Yeah-huh!"

"No-uh!"

"Yeah-huh!"

"No-uh!"

"Yeah-huh!"

"No-uh!"

"Yeah-huh!"

"No-uh!"

"YOUR MOM!"

"YOUR DAD!"

"YOUR GIRLFRIEND!"

"YOUR BOYFRIEND!"

"_YOUR_ BOYFRIEND!"

Christian paused. "Pedro the Penguin?"

"Le Gasp! You're with him too?"

"That cheating jerk!"

"I should've known. You can't trust penguins."

"Tell me about it, sister."

"OH. EM. GEE. Did you hear about the cupcakes?"

"What about them?"

"They eloped."

Christian gasped. "No. Way."

"Mmm-hmm." Rose did the little ghetto lip-pursed-finger-up head roll thing.

**Meanwhile, in Las Vegas~!**

"Are you sure about this?" Ms. Cupcake asked Mr. Cupcake.

"Totally. The only one who knows we're here is Rose, and I promised her she could have some of my icing later if she stayed quiet."

**Back in the room~**

Rose sneezed.

"Someone's talkin' 'bout you, Gurl."

"Pssh. No way, child. I don' believe in dat super-stasious junk."

**-R-A-N-D-O-M_E-N-D-**

**Yes, some of the words are spelt incorrectly on purpose. Say the last few lines Christian and Rose speak in Ghetto accents.**

**I did not mean to offend you if you are emo or ghetto. **

**However, if I did, I don't care, this entire story should be disregarded. If you take it seriously, you'll be wasting your time, as it is completely ridicules. **


End file.
